Thursday, September 08, 2011

"Fried Fridays: The 'Wonder' of It All..."

(cue music)

“I just called to say I love you

I just called to say how much I care

I just called to say I love you

And I mean it from the bottom of my heart”

Aw, isn’t that special…! Stevie Wonder is a ‘wonder’ in every since of the word, and the above lyrics are from but one of his myriad hits.

Love makes the world go ‘round.

Love is a many splendored thing.

Love CAN, well….


In days gone by, love letters were collected and cherished, stored in a dusty shoe box with a pretty ribbon and bow, opened and re-read by the light of a glowing fireplace. The reader would hang on every word, as if they were actually hearing the distant voice in the room with them.

Now these days, you can hit someone up with a text on a cell phone, using cutesie little emoticons, or send an instant email or e-card avowing your unending love that is deeper than the ocean and higher than the mountains.

Or you can simply make a phone call.

65,000 of them.

In one year.

To one person.

More specifically, to a person who is none too happy with the unwelcome stalking and incessant calling, and who hauled your derriere into court to put a stop to it.

42 year old Jane Doe claimed she was in a relationship with the 62 year old John Doe (who denied said claim), and that her calling was not excessive. Not at all.

(Let’s see now…65,000 calls, in a 365 day year, which comes out to 178 calls a day. Let’s assume she slept at least 6 hours each day, so in an 18 hour day, that comes out to roughly 10 calls per hour, or a call every 6 minutes...)

Nope, not excessive at all.

Not much else to the story…as the police arrested her, they confiscated several cell phones and computers, and ordered her to never contact the man again. Seems like there should be some joke, punchline, or moral to this story but I can’t think of one. But it does remind me (kinda sorta) of a joke I made up a few years ago…

There was a branch on a pine tree that had a few pine cones on it. One cone in particular, though, had a filthy mouth and was cussing everybody and everything out all day long. Suddenly, he lost his grip on the branch and dropped 80 feet all the way to the ground.

What, you’ve never heard of an obscene cone fall?