As hard as it is, I'm steering clear of the myriad political stories worthy of a Fried Friday honor. Not only that, this will be the first Friday that I'm selecting two stupid wire stories because, well, they just go together...
Like peanut butter and jelly...
Like lightning bugs and mason jars...
Like 'Obama' and NY Times crossword puzzles...
And to temporarily confuse you a bit, while the stories go together, each is a story of what should NEVER go together...
DATELINE #1: CENTRAL FALLS, RHODE ISLAND
Talk about things that go together, how about July 4th and fireworks? Yep, a classic.
How about transporting illegal fireworks down on the floorboard of your car? Uh, okay and, uh...
Oh yeah, and how about transporting said fireworks and smoking cigarettes at the same time?
Better yet, how about having some red hot ash from a nice deep drag set off said fireworks while you're driving?
A man, apparently perfecting his stupidity for 28 years, was arrested last weekend after the fire department arrived to put out his car on fire in the middle of the road. A passenger was seen tossing out what fireworks they could before abandoning the car.
Luckily, no one was injured. Unluckily, theoretically, anyway, he's still able to procreate...
DATELINE #2: MUKWONAGO, WISCONSIN
Enter today's second winner for a cerebral shortage...which started with another type of shortage we've gotten used to here in portions of NC: gasoline.
Seems that early last Sunday morning (read 'after midnight Saturday'), a man went to get in his SUV only to discover his tank was empty. Unrelated to our NC issue from Ike, of course...he just didn't pay attention to his gauge. Clue #1...
He and a female accomplice took a hose and empty gas can and went to siphon gas from a nearby van. Not a van of anyone they knew. I am assuming the hose and gas can came from his thirsty SUV as those items just don't materialize at 2am...just thinking out loud, here...
Depending on the amount of street lights, it's usually pretty dark at that time of the day. He was able to get the gas trickling out into the can, but it was too dark to effectively see how much he was getting in the can.
To return to today's theme, flashlights go perfectly with darkness when you need to see. So do campfires.
However, a BIC lighter does NOT go perfectly with darkness when there is gasoline right next to it.
I'm going to take a wild guess and assume there was no gas left in the container after the explosion...
------------------------
Hope you have a blast this weekend...just make it the 'good' kind of blast, okay?... ;-)
Like peanut butter and jelly...
Like lightning bugs and mason jars...
Like 'Obama' and NY Times crossword puzzles...
And to temporarily confuse you a bit, while the stories go together, each is a story of what should NEVER go together...
DATELINE #1: CENTRAL FALLS, RHODE ISLAND
Talk about things that go together, how about July 4th and fireworks? Yep, a classic.
How about transporting illegal fireworks down on the floorboard of your car? Uh, okay and, uh...
Oh yeah, and how about transporting said fireworks and smoking cigarettes at the same time?
Better yet, how about having some red hot ash from a nice deep drag set off said fireworks while you're driving?
A man, apparently perfecting his stupidity for 28 years, was arrested last weekend after the fire department arrived to put out his car on fire in the middle of the road. A passenger was seen tossing out what fireworks they could before abandoning the car.
Luckily, no one was injured. Unluckily, theoretically, anyway, he's still able to procreate...
DATELINE #2: MUKWONAGO, WISCONSIN
Enter today's second winner for a cerebral shortage...which started with another type of shortage we've gotten used to here in portions of NC: gasoline.
Seems that early last Sunday morning (read 'after midnight Saturday'), a man went to get in his SUV only to discover his tank was empty. Unrelated to our NC issue from Ike, of course...he just didn't pay attention to his gauge. Clue #1...
He and a female accomplice took a hose and empty gas can and went to siphon gas from a nearby van. Not a van of anyone they knew. I am assuming the hose and gas can came from his thirsty SUV as those items just don't materialize at 2am...just thinking out loud, here...
Depending on the amount of street lights, it's usually pretty dark at that time of the day. He was able to get the gas trickling out into the can, but it was too dark to effectively see how much he was getting in the can.
To return to today's theme, flashlights go perfectly with darkness when you need to see. So do campfires.
However, a BIC lighter does NOT go perfectly with darkness when there is gasoline right next to it.
I'm going to take a wild guess and assume there was no gas left in the container after the explosion...
------------------------
Hope you have a blast this weekend...just make it the 'good' kind of blast, okay?... ;-)
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