Lovely. I woke up to no cable, no internet, and no phone. Thankfully I have my Verizon aircard for my laptop so I can at least activate this post and check weather and email!
Time for some humor...I've had many a chuckle over the crazy weather patterns just in the past 48 hours of filling in, as if the Weather Gods went, "Hey, Bob's back! Let's totally screw with the weather so he'll quickly remember why he went on to 'greener pastures'!!!! And you think I'm kidding....
This post is for the animal lovers out there, namely those household 'family members' that we dote on ad nauseum. Can't help it...they make the world go 'round, but there really is a difference between the Dog World and the Cat World...let the diaries speak! Thanks to Dee for this forwarded e-laugh!
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Time for some humor...I've had many a chuckle over the crazy weather patterns just in the past 48 hours of filling in, as if the Weather Gods went, "Hey, Bob's back! Let's totally screw with the weather so he'll quickly remember why he went on to 'greener pastures'!!!! And you think I'm kidding....
This post is for the animal lovers out there, namely those household 'family members' that we dote on ad nauseum. Can't help it...they make the world go 'round, but there really is a difference between the Dog World and the Cat World...let the diaries speak! Thanks to Dee for this forwarded e-laugh!
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Excerpts from a Dog's Diary......Dec. 29, 20088:00 am - Dog food!
My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride!
My favorite thing!
9:45 am - A walk in the park!
My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted!
My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch-time!
My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard!
My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk Bone treats!
My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail!
My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball!
My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people!
My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed!
My favorite thing!
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Excerpts from a Cat's Diary...Dec. 29, 2008Day 983 of my captivity...
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.
In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of.
However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards, all of them.
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...
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