With all the rapid changes in the television industry, notwithstanding the very recent purchase of NBC by Comcast, I reflect back to my youth and all the ads I grew up with. So many are absolutely politically incorrect anymore, but they were out there front and center. Assume a future blog will explore that territory, thanks to YouTube....
I'm not a fan of Exxon after their Valdez screw up and reluctance to 'make good', but there were a plethora of promotions they put on decades ago...one of which were glasses with tigers on them as they used their catch-phrase "Put a Tiger in your Tank!".
Only in the most indirect of fashions does that lead me to today's post...not so much that it is a "fried" story than it is I have some new "Tiger" jokes forwarded my way. Yep, the world's greatest golfer-turned-humble-pie-eater is takin' home this week's award....
DATELINE: ORLANDO, FLORIDA
I don't know that I really care to know any more details. The world's most well-know golfer drives helter-skelter out of his gated home in a gated community at 2:30am, immediately veers off the road, clips a fire hydrant and hits a tree.
Wife runs up and uses a golf club (3-iron) to break rear window to help get the heavily dazed Tiger out of the vehicle...rumors say otherwise, in terms of Elin's efforts gripping a club. With mistresses now coming out of the Wood-work, it sheds a bit more light on the brouhaha.
Police arrive. News hits the web like flies on....uh....honey. Rumors fly like bats out of a cave at dark. Tiger refuses to talk or be interviewed. For days. Police say alcohol was not involved.
Whoa. Take your pick. Alcohol or drugs. No one, but NO one under normal non-weather related circumstances crashes like that...unless they're texting or putting on eyeliner. No more questions, Your Honor.
But that's all I'll say at this point. The whole thing is like peeling the layers from an onion. The details of this story and the marital angst groweth and groweth, ad nauseum.
Rather, a friend sent an email with new Tiger jokes Thursday...while I am sure there are many more, I figured we could all use a good chuckle after this week, if you haven't seen them already. I know I needed the smiles! Enjoy...
-----------------------------------------------------
The police asked Tiger's wife Elin
how many times she hit him.
"I don't know, exactly...4, maybe 7...
just put me down for a 5."
Phil Mickelson contacted Tiger's wife
to pick up tips on how to beat Tiger.
What's the difference between a golf ball and a car?
Tiger can drive a golf ball almost 400 yards.
Tiger wasn't seriously injured in the crash,
but he's still not feeling up to par.
What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2:30am?
They were clubbing.
Tiger crashed into a hydrant and a tree...
couldn't make up his mind to use an iron or a wood.
PING Clubs just offered Elin a contract for
a new line of drivers called
"Elin Woods - clubs you can beat Tiger with!"
Tiger is going to change his name...
he'll keep it in the cat family, though,
and now go by Cheetah.
Tiger was driving an Escalade...can he now
rightfully blame the accident on his Caddy?
Tiger has signed a new movie deal to
star in "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant".
Tiger owns a lot of expensive cars.
Now he has a hole in one.
Tiger clearly should have chosen
a driver that night.
Apparently Tiger admitted this was
the closest shave he'd ever had...
so Gillette has pulled their contract.
After a wayward drive, Tiger found
water before nestling behind a tree.
Apparently the only person who can beat
Tiger Woods with a golf club is his wife.
I'm not a fan of Exxon after their Valdez screw up and reluctance to 'make good', but there were a plethora of promotions they put on decades ago...one of which were glasses with tigers on them as they used their catch-phrase "Put a Tiger in your Tank!".
Only in the most indirect of fashions does that lead me to today's post...not so much that it is a "fried" story than it is I have some new "Tiger" jokes forwarded my way. Yep, the world's greatest golfer-turned-humble-pie-eater is takin' home this week's award....
DATELINE: ORLANDO, FLORIDA
I don't know that I really care to know any more details. The world's most well-know golfer drives helter-skelter out of his gated home in a gated community at 2:30am, immediately veers off the road, clips a fire hydrant and hits a tree.
Wife runs up and uses a golf club (3-iron) to break rear window to help get the heavily dazed Tiger out of the vehicle...rumors say otherwise, in terms of Elin's efforts gripping a club. With mistresses now coming out of the Wood-work, it sheds a bit more light on the brouhaha.
Police arrive. News hits the web like flies on....uh....honey. Rumors fly like bats out of a cave at dark. Tiger refuses to talk or be interviewed. For days. Police say alcohol was not involved.
Whoa. Take your pick. Alcohol or drugs. No one, but NO one under normal non-weather related circumstances crashes like that...unless they're texting or putting on eyeliner. No more questions, Your Honor.
But that's all I'll say at this point. The whole thing is like peeling the layers from an onion. The details of this story and the marital angst groweth and groweth, ad nauseum.
Rather, a friend sent an email with new Tiger jokes Thursday...while I am sure there are many more, I figured we could all use a good chuckle after this week, if you haven't seen them already. I know I needed the smiles! Enjoy...
-----------------------------------------------------
The police asked Tiger's wife Elin
how many times she hit him.
"I don't know, exactly...4, maybe 7...
just put me down for a 5."
Phil Mickelson contacted Tiger's wife
to pick up tips on how to beat Tiger.
What's the difference between a golf ball and a car?
Tiger can drive a golf ball almost 400 yards.
Tiger wasn't seriously injured in the crash,
but he's still not feeling up to par.
What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2:30am?
They were clubbing.
Tiger crashed into a hydrant and a tree...
couldn't make up his mind to use an iron or a wood.
PING Clubs just offered Elin a contract for
a new line of drivers called
"Elin Woods - clubs you can beat Tiger with!"
Tiger is going to change his name...
he'll keep it in the cat family, though,
and now go by Cheetah.
Tiger was driving an Escalade...can he now
rightfully blame the accident on his Caddy?
Tiger has signed a new movie deal to
star in "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant".
Tiger owns a lot of expensive cars.
Now he has a hole in one.
Tiger clearly should have chosen
a driver that night.
Apparently Tiger admitted this was
the closest shave he'd ever had...
so Gillette has pulled their contract.
After a wayward drive, Tiger found
water before nestling behind a tree.
Apparently the only person who can beat
Tiger Woods with a golf club is his wife.
3 comments:
The day after your gas crisis story you put up a blog titled "Put a Tiger in your tank"? How about gas? (Sorry, couldn't resist).
Great Tiger jokes. I haven't gotten any yet. My friends are slow.
Lastly, when Youtubing old commericials you've got to check out one of my all time favorites! Search "Your Mother Won't Know You". Fantastic Mr. Bubble commercial. "There's a man in the bathtub..." They don't write stuff like that anymore.
I don't know, if you back out of your driveway at night and you are really, really, really, mad you might just not realize how hard you are pressing on the accelerator and wham into a hydrant. Doesn't say much for the Escalade's ability to stand up to a rear crash if the doors are jammed. Also, he just might have hit the steering wheel because in a rear crash, the air bags might not deploy. I'm just fascinated with the physics - and the jokes weren't bad either!
Abigail
YOU, Abigail, fascinated with physics??? Go figure... ;-) Yeah, will we ever know what really happened. Doubtful.
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