"If I only had a brain...."
Good fodder for this Friday morning...so good I've got to highlight a brace of stories in which the criminals share one thing in common: a seriously underutilized brain.
Our first chap simply wanted to reach out and touch someone....
DATELINE: OREM, UTAH
John White looks like he's in his early 20s....earrings in both ears, wavy golden locks cut straight across the forehead, which would look like an ancient Greek if it were but black as coal. His newish looking Ralph Lauren t-shirt made for a nice little mugshot.
John's mistake wasn't stealing two cell phones from a convenience store, though that was mistake enough. His mistake wasn't possessing the marijuana police found with the two stolen phones, though it certainly didn't help matters.
John's first big mistake was....he got lost. He was trying to find a particular address and, unlike many males, he actually flagged someone down to ask them for directions.
Only that person was THE investigating officer called in to handle the very convenience store theft John committed. What are the odds of that happening? Pretty good when you consider John had committed a second significant brain flattulation...
You see, John was close to his destination...so how was it the investigating officer just happened to be there, as well? John had accidentally left behind the address written on a slip of paper. The officer immediately recognized our first award-winning miscreant and, well, the rest is history.
Our blog of Brainless Wonders continues with a pair that will leave you saying, "What were they thinking?"....
DATELINE: FAIRFIELD, CONNECTICUT
Meet 27 year-old Albert Bailey and his unnamed 16 year-old sidekick. They needed and/or wanted some quick cash, and what better and easier way to accomplish that than to go rob a bank.
Leisure-style.
We are SUCH a society of laziness at times, aren't we. It's one thing to work smarter, not harder, but if one is not careful he or she can cut one too many corners.
Honestly, when I read this I was speechless...
Albert phoned in his robbery request for a bag of cash.
(cue cricket chirps loud enough to override the cricket laughter)
The Dynamic-less Duo pulled into the bank parking lot 10 minutes later to pick up their kinda sorta drive-through booty and....I know you'll find this hard to believe...the police were there waiting for 'em.
Please tell me they were high on drugs or something....
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