"Wow, this economy sure is bad," I say.
"How bad is it?" you ask.
"It's so bad I've seen unemployed PhD's drive cabs and deliver pizzas just to put some food on the table," which is true for many people right now.
The Charlotte region has had a number of pizza robberies in the news lately, violent ones, too. It's not an easy job, and it's clearly not always a safe job. Thugs and miscreants seem to be a dime a dozen out there...or in there...
DATELINE: CONOVER, NC
What were they thinking....
Oh, I forgot...they weren't.
Two Domino's employees gave a whole new meaning to a fresh, hot pizza delivered in 30 minutes or less.
Brainless Contestant #1: Kristy Hammonds, 31, from Taylorsville, NC
Brainless Contestant #2: Michael Antony Setzer, 32, from Conover, NC
These lucky contestants won an all-expense paid trip to the Catawba County jail, paid for by you and me. Their homemade YouTube video won top honors among the over-1 million viewers for "Most Vile, Stupid, Disgusting, and Disgraceful Acts Possible" documentary work. Police authorities and Domino's management seconded that vote of confidence and delivered the winners' notifications posthaste.
Let me say that among the shocking, head-scratching things here is that these two are in their early THIRTIES, not teenagers or 20-somethings...
Outside of 'shock-value', it serves no purpose for me to go into details of exactly what the giggling vedeographer Hammonds encouraged the pseudo-actor Michael to do to various sandwiches and pizzas as he prepared them for delivery to customers. If it involves by-products from your nose, or tail-pipe emissions, or touching of other such delicate items that never belong in any of the major food groups, then you can figure out for yourself that these two went so far 'over the line' that they fell off the edge of prehistoric Earth. Apparently their audio portion was just as sick as he described what he was doing and how some unsuspecting customer would be eating it...alas, it looks like all traces of the original videos have been removed except for snippets used in news stories.
I suppose out of braggadocio Ms. Hammond posted the video for her sick friends to see, as well as a bit of demented fame and fortune for the duo...and in this world of social 'viral' mediums where information is sent around the world in the click of a button, they got what they were looking for. Oh, boy, did they get it.
One big heap o' trouble. Felony charges are pending, and well they should be. It goes without saying they were immediately fired. Domino's has had to fight a firestorm that it never should have had to do. Throw in a couple of mortified families and you have one ugly mess that would make Medusa look like 'Ms. Meditteranean Sea.'
I have a dark sense of humor that is arguably twisted, but what they did has not an iota of humor in it. It's actually beyond "fried", but "Fried Fridays" sounds better than "Nuked Fridays" to me.
And if there is even the slightest glimmer of optimism here...I might add their are a couple of new job openings now taking applications.
You are now free to go find your appetite...
"How bad is it?" you ask.
"It's so bad I've seen unemployed PhD's drive cabs and deliver pizzas just to put some food on the table," which is true for many people right now.
The Charlotte region has had a number of pizza robberies in the news lately, violent ones, too. It's not an easy job, and it's clearly not always a safe job. Thugs and miscreants seem to be a dime a dozen out there...or in there...
DATELINE: CONOVER, NC
What were they thinking....
Oh, I forgot...they weren't.
Two Domino's employees gave a whole new meaning to a fresh, hot pizza delivered in 30 minutes or less.
Brainless Contestant #1: Kristy Hammonds, 31, from Taylorsville, NC
Brainless Contestant #2: Michael Antony Setzer, 32, from Conover, NC
These lucky contestants won an all-expense paid trip to the Catawba County jail, paid for by you and me. Their homemade YouTube video won top honors among the over-1 million viewers for "Most Vile, Stupid, Disgusting, and Disgraceful Acts Possible" documentary work. Police authorities and Domino's management seconded that vote of confidence and delivered the winners' notifications posthaste.
Let me say that among the shocking, head-scratching things here is that these two are in their early THIRTIES, not teenagers or 20-somethings...
Outside of 'shock-value', it serves no purpose for me to go into details of exactly what the giggling vedeographer Hammonds encouraged the pseudo-actor Michael to do to various sandwiches and pizzas as he prepared them for delivery to customers. If it involves by-products from your nose, or tail-pipe emissions, or touching of other such delicate items that never belong in any of the major food groups, then you can figure out for yourself that these two went so far 'over the line' that they fell off the edge of prehistoric Earth. Apparently their audio portion was just as sick as he described what he was doing and how some unsuspecting customer would be eating it...alas, it looks like all traces of the original videos have been removed except for snippets used in news stories.
I suppose out of braggadocio Ms. Hammond posted the video for her sick friends to see, as well as a bit of demented fame and fortune for the duo...and in this world of social 'viral' mediums where information is sent around the world in the click of a button, they got what they were looking for. Oh, boy, did they get it.
One big heap o' trouble. Felony charges are pending, and well they should be. It goes without saying they were immediately fired. Domino's has had to fight a firestorm that it never should have had to do. Throw in a couple of mortified families and you have one ugly mess that would make Medusa look like 'Ms. Meditteranean Sea.'
I have a dark sense of humor that is arguably twisted, but what they did has not an iota of humor in it. It's actually beyond "fried", but "Fried Fridays" sounds better than "Nuked Fridays" to me.
And if there is even the slightest glimmer of optimism here...I might add their are a couple of new job openings now taking applications.
You are now free to go find your appetite...
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