For Your Monday: The Wright Stuff

With all the incredibly depressing news around the world as well as at home, along with the winter blues and today being a Monday, I figured we could all use a few chuckles. May I present to you, if you don't already know him...

Steven Wright
comedian

Born in 1955...inspired by Johnny Carson's show...was swept away by George Carlin's "Class Clown" album... self-admitted introvert and odd-man-out, though he listened to endless hours of comedy played late on weekend nights on a Boston radio station...

Whereas Robin Williams bounces off walls more erratically than photons in an entropy chamber in his stage deliveries, Steven's humor comes in the form of dead-pan delivery...not necessarily everybody's cup of tea, but he makes me laugh.

Here are just some of his sage deliveries:

"It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it."

"Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time."

"The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard."

"Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish."

"It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature."

"What's another word for Thesaurus?"

"You can't have everything. Where would you put it?"

"If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?"

"I have an existential map. It has "You are here" written all over it."

"Curiosity killed the cat, but for awhile I was a suspect."

"If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?"

"I have the worlds largest seashell collection. You may have seen it, I keep it spread out on beaches all over the world."

"If Dracula can't see his reflection in the mirror, how come his hair is always so neatly combed?"

'I can remember the first time I had to go to sleep. Mom said, "Steven, time to go to sleep." I said, "But I don't know how." She said, "It's real easy. Just go down to the end of tired and hang a left." So I went down to the end of tired, and just out of curiosity I hung a right. My mother was there, and she said "I thought I told you to go to sleep."'

"I bought some powdered water yesterday. I don't know what to add."

"Every now and then I like to lean out my window, look up and smile for a satellite picture."

click on photo for video link

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No super-cold wintry weather this week, but we do have some rain chances, which is a good thing. Looks like I'll have some time to catch up on other things the recent cold kept me from doing - except for when it's raining!

Carpe diem, y'all!