Friday, April 23, 2010

"Fried Friday: That's the pits!"

Ah, another week in Stupidity Paradise, saddle pals. Eenie-meenie-mynie-mo....

I liked the way a Fostoria, Ohio prostitute got truly screwed: she approached a car and solicited the driver for paid sex....only the driver was the police chief undercover. Oops.

A 41 year-old Wisconsin woman was arrested for shooting people from her car...with a blow dart gun. When police arrested her they found the blowdart gun, a slingshot, and a bucket of small rocks. In the ensuing interrogation, Paula Wolf said she "liked to hear people say ouch."

However, this week's award goes to a desperate man trying to evade authorities...and it's not that what he did was stupid, but the millions of jokes that are going through my head thinking about what took place after the arrest....


An unnamed 52 year-old man was wanted on methamphetamine charges. Normal fare, that.

Authorities gave chase to him and were searching for him on a northeastern Indiana farm. Seems like a rather typical scenario, criminal on the run, taking a more rural route.

When the police spotted him in his unsuccessful hideaway, he apparently had partaken of his illegal drug, became combative, and had to subdued, shocked twice with a stun gun.

He was then taken to the hospital for hypothermia treatment before being taken to the slammer, where he was held without bail for missing February and March hearing dates.

Normally a story like this I dismiss like a bad karaoke attempt (which has been too plentiful on this season's American Idol). But what attracted me to this story is where police found this man....

Under the floor of the barn, neck-deep in a liquified-manure tank of hog and dog feces. Apparently he'd been there for an hour...

Now picture being at the scene and watching what the officers did next....

Do they draw straws or play rocks-paper-scissors to see who gets to cuff him?

Whose patrol car does he ride in?

When he got combative, was he like a dog shaking off after a bath?

Did the officers go tell their spouses they had a sh*tty day at work?

Were the officers too smelly to go into the donut shop for a brew break?

The logistics boggle my mind...


Suzy said...

Now THAT's a DESPERATE stupid-criminal!! I'm laughing so hard at those logistics scenarios! As the old saying goes: "Just when you think YOU'RE having a bad day ..."
Think of some unfortunate law enforcement officers who aren't getting paid nearly enough to deal with THEIR predicament!! Suddenly the average daily 'work crisis' doesn't seem so bad!!

Suzy :)

Lori said...

You know, we all do wrong and unwise things. But the question is: How do we feel when someone says what we did was stupid or calls us that? I know I would not like it and I'm sure none of the people mentioned would either. I hope they change to doing what is right.