Thursday, October 23, 2008


We as a society are notorious for not discussing certain personal issues, at least not to much depth.

Politics. Religion. Sex. Our incomes.

And Death.

I do know we'd all be better off if we could engage in such dialogue in a positive and supporting way instead of slipping into an
"us-them" attitude. Seems to me that with Death, especially, many have suppressed fears about dying and what it's all about.

Fear has two angles to it: either you're afraid that you are not going to have something, or afraid that you won't have enough of something. And we'd all do well to remember that 'fear' is an acronym for 'false evidence appearing real." I prefer the term 'crossing over' anyway, since it more realistically portrays what happens when we leave our bodies behind.

Yesterday I attended a funeral service for Becky Honeycutt, who at 47 years of age couldn't beat the advanced stages of a long-fought battle with cancer. While many were very sad, I was actually relieved...she was in such pain and poor health of late, and now she's not. A valiant warrior, she.

In some ways I became the detached observer during the service, looking at the overall scene, the people involved, listening...I well imagine that in a room of 100 people there are close to 100 different views and attitudes about death and reactions to it.

I've given a lot of things a lot of thought over the years, and death is one of them...if for no other reason than to be at peace with something so many are uncomfortable with. I'm not. I don't even have any trouble being around sick and dying people...just kinda grown that way over the years.

As for me when I exit stage right, I want to be cremated. My physical body doesn't need to take up any more space on this planet than it will have during my consumption of oxygen molecules. And sending flower arrangements? WHY? I can't use 'em. They'll soon dry out and be tossed, so save the money or donate it to a worthy organization. Sometimes I think people get fancy stuff not for the deceased but for themselves to feel better.

For a funeral/memorial service, I will outlaw black and gray wardrobes and ask that everyone wear bright casual, comfortable clothes...and I would especially welcome shorts. Mark my words: I will come back and haunt violators. There will be no slow tempo organ music; rather, music will be upbeat and joyous. I want people to laugh, even if through tears. I want them to laugh a lot. I want people to feel joy. I want a celebration atmosphere where people feel the connection with each other.

Since I'll be cremated, I want a giant blow-up photo of me up front making a funny face or in the middle of a big belly laugh. And when people leave, I want them to each get a gift of flower seeds or a tree seedling so they can go plant it some place special. Just don't give me somber, dour, deflated, dark anything. How depressing.

Death is not an end to anything. We are not our bodies...we are our Spirits, and like matter they can never be created or destroyed. We all simply transition from one realm to the other, and the beautiful circle continues. We'll all meet again, rest assured...if we so choose.

Yes, a rather strange post...but maybe it will give you pause to consider your thoughts, ideas, opinions on death and the whole social-spiritual process. So much of who we 'think' we are comes from ideologies given to us early on in we get older, may we all have the wisdom and, more importantly, the courage to decide for ourselves what our Truth is and how we want to express it...both as a living human Being as well as a 'crossing' Spirit.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled day...

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