Friday, February 13, 2009

"Fried Fridays: I'll drink to that!..."

Cheers, Mates. Belly up to the bar. Down the hatch, as they say.

But wait, the news gets better: it's non-alcoholic!

That's right, you, too, can soon enjoy the fresh taste of...
...of, uh.....


...a new line of soft drinks made from, uh....cow urine.

(cue cricket chirps from last week)

In India things are just a bit different, especially when it comes to their sacred cows. While still testing the recipe for another 2-3 months, a hard-line Hindu organization (Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh) is planning on releasing their new soft drink made from liquid cow wastage, in hopes of undermining western 'corruption' in the food import industry.

After all, the cows are quite sacred to begin with, and, probably not as widely known, is the salubrious nature of cow urine to the human body: it supposedly fights cancer and diabetes, among some of the 70-80 incurable diseases it's 'proven' to work against, so the RSS reports. (EDITOR'S NOTE: either they're incurable or pregnancy. Middle ground is not an option.)

(crickets continue chirping...)

If it makes your mouth water any more, they are experimenting mixing it with gooseberries, aloe vera, and other tasty additives...

(more chirping...)

Hey, it's been approved and used at many religious festivals, too...

(down to a dozen crickets chirping...)

Prakash, from one of the four holiest cities on the Ganges, was quoted as saying the product will be sold nationwide but would not rule out international success...

(one little cricket still chirping...)

I think I'll stop while I'm behind.

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