Friday, October 09, 2009

"Fried Fridays: Literally..."

Figuratively, this world is chock full of 'fried' individuals as well as groups.

How about the Calgary, Alberta duo that jumped the fence at the Siberian Tiger enclosure after midnight one night...then one of them stuck his hand inside the cage only to have his arm mauled...

...or the wise regulations officials put in place in Melbourne, Australia in preparation for the hugely popular Bathurst 1000. In hopes of reducing alcohol-related crime, they're putting a limit on alcohol consumption on any given race day (you can pick only one, and you can't combine your poisons): 24 cans of strong beers, 36 cans of weak/mid strength beer, or 4 litres of wine. Per person. Per day. Eegads.

Kids, listen up: you live at home, you live by your parents' rules, end of discussion. You violate rules, you have consequences...any part of this you don't understand? One Falmouth, MA 18-year old didn't...he hauled off and hit his 15 year-old brother, so mom made the decision to take his cell phone away as an initial consequence. The next day he went on a mini rampage, kicked his mother in the throat, head-butted his brother, and hit and bit his father, himself a corrections officer. Dad managed to get a set of cuffs on the out of control teenager, and the police even had to put on leg shackles to subdue him before hauling him off to jail. It's time that family put the FUN back into 'dysfunctional'...

Today, though, we get literal about today's 'fried' story...

DATELINE: QUINCY, MASSACHUSETTS

Don't know what's up with that Massachusetts water these days...

Christina Galipeau (22) and Eugene Jackson (33) went into the purveyor of the Golden Arches there in Quincy. You can rest assured that when they went to order the cashier asked them, "Would you like fries with that?"

Why, yes they did, thank you very much. Make it a large.

"...nor Hell a fury like a woman scorned."
- William Congreve (1697)

"...nor Hell a fury like a woman
who didn't get the right sized
french fry order."

- Bob Child (2009)

As is the case with any short news story, essential information, it would seem, has been left out. If I got the wrong order, I would simply bring it to their attention and they would make it right...happens often enough, I'm sure. But that's how I'd approach it...

Ms. Galipeau must have eaten some tainted Wheaties for breakfast because her enraged response was to throw a handful of change into the cashier's face, with her appropriately matched mate then picking up a pair of those 2-foot tall 'Wet Floor' cones and hurling them behind the counter, cutting another employee's nose.

Boy, that'll teach THEM to not screw up an order again...

I'm never short of amazed at the sheer ignorance and pathetic, boorish behavior that abounds in our society. And this was one story that really was 'fried'...

I think I'll just stick with a baked potato at home.

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